Practical ways of becoming and remaining successful: Don't measure your success with that of others

Today marks the last edition of the series, Practical ways of becoming and remaining successful. It is entitled: Don't measure your success with that of others. In this installment we explore the perils of trying to measure ourselves using someone else's measuring stick. Based on the first blog in this series (link here) the goals that we set for ourselves on the quest for success must be personal-- which implies that the success that we are to discover must also be personal. The best way to explain this is the use of a sports analogy.

The journey to success is often likened unto a race, which conventional wisdom tells us there must be a winner. If that is the case, does it imply that in this 'race' toward success all of the other participants are destined for failure? Does it also mean that we all should give up once someone is officially declared the winner? I say not so! If you have ever witnessed a men's 100 meters dash at an Olympic athletics competition, you would see that when the race is over there is more than one person celebrating. Why is that? Well if you understand a fundamental dynamic of success then it will make sense. If coming in second place is the best that you can do, then you will be doing yourself a disservice by not being comfortable with that fact. You see, you will never be happy if all you do is keep comparing yourself to other people. I am not saying that they can't serve as a source of inspiration, but to have an obsessive compulsion in trying to match up or even outdo the competition in every aspect is very unhealthy. It is under such conditions that jealousy and greed are developed, which can result in cutting corners to make up the shortfall.

On the other hand, there are those of us who are working night and day trying to live up to some unrealistic expectation that may not likely come to fruition. And it’s not because you don't have the desire, but maybe it just was not meant to be. The best example is a parent-child relationship. A parent may have lofty aspirations for their child to become a doctor. What then happens to a child who wants to be a chef, but enrolls into medical school simply to please the parent? His/her parent’s desire is not going to compensate for the hardships they may endure. This is why setting your own goals is important. The ideal scenario is when a parent can help a child to set goals and then provide support in helping them to attain those goals.

Handling your success can be summarized into the common expression- be comfortable in your own skin. It doesn't mean that once you make your decision the process will then be easy. Please be warned that this could be quite the contrary. It means that once your planning is over, you enter this race with the understanding that there will be challenges and times of second guessing and even major frustrations. However, knowing that the dream that you are chasing after is all yours, gives you the inner strength to keep running and a greater sense of satisfaction when success does indeed come.

So what have we learnt from this discourse:

Setting goals is the most important step in being successful. After all, with no finish line how can you tell if you have made it. The goals must be challenging yet realistic. Don't bite off more than you can chew all at once. Break them up into smaller goals so that there is a continual sense of progress.

Once the goals are set the work begins. There will be obstacles, good days and bad, however you must believe in yourself! Trust in your ability and most importantly trust in your gut instinct.

Acting like you belong is a take on the old adage, think like where you are headed and not where you currently are. It is simple, yet revolutionary. It tells you that you cannot be bogged down by your perceived differences and or weaknesses. You either belong or you don't! It is your decision.

Focus, focus, focus - Do not take your eyes off of the finish line! Anything or anyone who is in your way needs to be removed.

Lastly you alone can determine what success is. Chasing after someone else's dream will only lead to a life of frustration.

If this series has been insightful please leave a comment or send me a message. If any questions may have arisen while reading this series, by all means send me questions and I promise I will answer them.

Until next time remember: as long as you have life you should live it to your fullest potential.